Do you – or someone you love – suffer from Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder (TARD)? It is a pattern of psychotic behavior that was first witnessed during the late hours of November 8th, 2016, and has grown to a nation wide epidemic in the time that has followed since.
Sufferers of TARD often exhibit pronounced cognitive dissonance, sudden bouts of rage, uncontrollable crying, suicidal tendencies, and extreme bouts of self-inflicted depression.
SIGNS & SYMPTOMS
People with TARD are characterized by an extreme unwillingness to accept the fact that Donald Trump was elected President by a process that has been in place for over 200 years. This process, the Electoral College, is one that has been a part of our nation for as long as we have been a nation. It was installed into our Republic as a way to protect the individual from the rule of the mob.
And with recent events – you can see just how perceptive to the idea of “mob rule” the founding fathers truly were.
Individuals with TARD may show some, or all, of the following symptoms:
- Telling others they are moving to Canada (because they’re too racist to move to Mexico)
- Fixated on the idea that the Electoral College is outdated
- Claims the Electoral College was installed to protect Slave States and, thus, must be removed from our Constitution.
- Loud cries that “someone” should do “something”
- Acute changes in demeanor that range from smugness and arrogance to fearful and verbally incoherent.
- Claim that anyone who disagrees with them is some combination of Racist, Sexist, Bigoted, and/or Homophobic
CAUSES & MECHANISMS
Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder was directly caused by the election of Donald Trump as President of the United States of America. For many, both in America and worldwide, this was a shocking and unexpected outcome; their preferred news sources having failed to inform them that the alternative candidate was a criminal parasite in such ill health she got chucked into the back of a van like a kidnap victim. Research is ongoing, but TARD appears to correlate closely with the following environmental and behavioral factors: –
- Membership in the Democratic party
- Deeply-seeded, unwarranted fear of rifles who happen to be black
- Identifying as a Feminist
- Currently enrolled in college, and/or – Possession of a Liberal Arts college degree
- Living in a densely populated metropolitan area
- Massive student debt
- Spotty or non-existent work history
Diagnosis of Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder is straightforward. Ask the patient if Donald Trump is going to be the Next President of the United States of America. Some patients will become agitated, and may attempt to deflect. It’s critical you press them on the issue, even if they start babbling about ‘muh triggers’.
A sufferer of TARD will begin to ramble incoherently, often displaying three or more of the symptoms within a short period of time. READ MORE:
The only known effective treatment is exposure therapy. The patient must be repeatedly exposed to reality, and should wear a Make America Great Again hat as long as they are able to tolerate it. Each exposure should increase in length, after a week the patient should be encouraged to be seen in public wearing the MAGA hat. Coach the patient to refer to Donald Trump as President-Elect Trump. Patients with TARD are very resistant to treatment, and dangerous in large groups.
Any possibility of treatment requires that they be separated from their hive-mind support apparatus; they cannot begin the process of accepting reality in the presence of encouragement towards delusion and irrationality. Separation may require the assistance of law enforcement. If you have a friend or loved one suffering from TARD, urge them to seek treatment. Together we can beat this scourge, and Make America Great Again!